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* Sigh * OK, I knew that this movie will be bad. But I totally didn't expect it to be THIS bad. Because this right here? It's one of the worst movies I've seen this year. And I've seen Venom: Let There Be Carnage. The problem with The Matrix Resurrections is not that it's totally pointless. I mean, it sure and it's exactly what you may expect from reading the title. Blah-blah-blah, Neo and Trinity are back, blah-blah-blah humans, blah-blah-blah machines, blah-blah-blah, some random fights. That's pretty much the entire story and it's exactly as boring and uninspired as it sounds.
The real problem with The Matrix Resurrections is the fact that the entire atmosphere was ruined. I mean, the first Matrix? It was a lucky coincidence. Sure, Wachowski are painfully talentless, but they are geeks and in the first Matrix? They were lucky enough to meet the right people. While being a cyberpunk icon, Keanu brought a certain feeling with him, Kym Barrett (who even got her own little tribute in the movie) created the right tone with her awesome costumes and so on. It was just that – right people at the right time crating the right cyberpunk mood.
Now, Resurrection? It's exactly the opposite. Everything here is just falling apart. The writing is painfully cheesy and is full of MCU-like jokes that feel completely out of place (remember The Last Jedi? That's exactly what we have here, so, don't even start expecting a proper cyberpunk tone), Lindsay Pugh, who already worked with Wachowski in their Sense8, completely f*cked up the costumes, thanks to which the characters began to look like silly clowns, Wachowski added tons of geeky references that make the movie to feel more like The Big Bang Theory and so on. The Matrix Resurrections feels more like a cheesy and tasteless parody than a real deal. And THAT'S the biggest problem with this movie.
There's only one good thing here. And that thing is – The Analyst. Neil Patrick Harris was a terrible choice, since he instantly makes the entire thing to feel like yet another geeky nod (seriously, it's like casting David Schwimmer for a drama, giving his character a Ph.D and make him eat turkey sandwitch), but the character himself? It's the best thing this movie can offer. Let's just admit it, The Architect was a pretty boring character. Now, The Analyst? The Analyst adds a certain zest to the “main villain” thingy. Which makes the fact that there's close to no story in this movie to feel even more sad. I mean, the idea itself had the potential. Unfortunately, nobody even tried to write a good story for it.
And of course, even The Analyst can't save this movie from what it is – a cringeworthy disaster. A disaster that's so terribly written that you'll risk to hurt yourself by facepalms. And since the entire thing is forced and doesn't have any special meaning in it (aside from “give us more money”, of cours), I'd say it's a very good idea to just ignore it. Resurrections is The Last Jedi for The Matrix franchise. It's so bad that it stings you right into your soul and as the result you'll spend the rest of your life trying to unsee it. Dixi.
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