exactly what duolingo been trying so desperately to prepare me for: a movie where half the dialogue is in spanish but there exists no subtitles for a word they say because the director thought it'd make we'd connect more with the movie if we don't understand what the characters are tryna say or tell each other and instead read smth like [continues tearfully in spanish]. anyway here's a list of other things i'd like to add: 1. most of the songs were terrible, the entire movie literally looked like a huge lip-sync contest, and the dances were way too much and too many things were always happening in the background which was extremely distracting 2. i have never looked at the remaining time during a movie more times than i did today. for a movie with a plot where there exists literally only 2 major events to run for almost 3 hrs.. well that's insane you could literally cut the runtime in half and you wouldn't miss a thing 3. excuse my ignorance but i have never seen west side story before so the fact that the first time they fucked was right after he murdered her own brother lmfaoo (btw whose death didn't make any fkn sense either) that was bonkers. tbh it was even more batshit crazy when they literally just showed his gf mourning his death for a total of 2 mins then immediately moved on like "that's crazy man.. anyway..". and the fact that tony's death was based on the most unbelievable lie there is ever!! 4. the chemistry between the main "love interest" is just fucking awful. like i tried so hard to not remind myself that the leads are a sexual predator and the second most annoying actress after lady gaga but i truly failed. and well not even a single kiss was felt cause every time they were together on screen i was like "perish"... my fav part is when ansel elgort's character just fucking d*ed 5. it was so ironic to have a scene of sexual assault that does not have ansel elgort in it like this is what he would've done best. he was born for it.